Alcohol

Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 13: Brain New World I’m writing this on the last day of January, having “graduated” IOP. A couple of months ago, I watched Tom pass a similar milestone and was in awe of him. Three months, ninety days, a quarter of a year, all seemed impossible. Merely considering it felt like a challenge. During this time, I noticed mental and physical changes – gone are the shakes, sweats, self-hate, tears and fears. But I’m still an alcoholic. When I left the center into a dark, cold night, I walked along Montrose and …

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Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 12: Christmas During the final IOP sessions before Christmas break, our counselor advised us the festive season was a particularly difficult time for alcoholics. Nobody in the room needed reminding. It’s impossible for anyone, let alone an alcoholic, to navigate the festivities without exposure to adverts portraying the pleasure of drinking or friends enjoying the real thing. I understood the counselor’s point to a certain extent. Sure, it was around me, but when exactly was it not? As I discovered, people, places and things are a potential barrier to recovery for an …

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Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 11: Living and Learning When I reached one month of sobriety I felt a sense of achievement akin to graduating from university. Since fifteen, I had never been sober for more than two weeks, so this was an accomplishment.    Picking up groceries from a local store, I passed the alcohol aisle and thought of my milestone. I could celebrate with a wine. This was an achievement. Wait a minute. Do I want to toast my sobriety with my addiction? I can forego French Quarter drinking and survive The Strip’s temptations only …

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Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 10: Relapse I continued my baby steps through IOP, reading, making new friends, getting back to work and, in general, applying myself. But relapse struck faster than it took me to build this my new reality. It seemed as if I had discovered a new property, surveyed it, studied its design, talked to people to gain a feel for the neighborhood, spent due diligence on paperwork, envisioned a new life in it, built hopes for future living and finally signed the papers. Only after moving in, a freak storm reduced my efforts …

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Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 9: Recovery Sandwiched in between the weekends in New Orleans and Las Vegas, I began intensive outpatient treatment (IOP), a new experience on my recovery road. An information brochure at the facility told me it uses twelve step and proven clinical treatment methods to help you make positive changes in your life. The twelve step concept sounded familiar from my time in detox. Aside from scribbled notes, memories of people and a write up of my time, the whole experience – in terms of learning – is hazy. I attended the required …

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Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 8: One night in Vegas My second, pre-detox booked trip arrived two weeks after New Orleans – a night of boxing in Las Vegas for the fourth fight between Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquez. I was out of the southern frying pan into the Nevada fire. I became a student of ‘the sweet science,’ as boxing is known, as a child and studied old VHS tapes, read magazines, learned fight techniques and watched every big scrap on TV that wasn’t on late. These fights were now accessible to me living in …

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Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 7: Fade to Black By spring 2012, my California misadventure continued in the same way as described. At work, I still enjoyed my post but applied for a role in Texas better suited to my communications background. But on the drinking front, affairs literally darkened. My boozing on weekends took on a new pattern – I was getting drunk twice in a day. Once was no longer enough. I began my routine when I surfaced from the night before, typically at 8:00am, and was drunk by lunchtime.  Then back to bed to …

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Six Weeks Until Christmas by Simon Tait Chapter 6: People, Places and Things During Detox, a number of counselors advised the group to avoid familiar people, places and things as they may trigger relapse. At first, I struggled to grasp the concept. ‘People’ represented me and a handful of others as I lived thousands of miles from home. ‘Places’ can mean anywhere within walking distance – Jose and the three hundred yard stroll to the gas station for booze an example. ‘Things’ didn’t really add up either. I’d grasp all three soon. My first few days back in Texan reality …

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